Jesse Avdeikov: Love of My Life, tm•gallery 27.11. – 22.12.2024

My grandmother’s love for her family, and especially for her grandchildren, was so strong and came so directly from her heart that I believe I learned the art of loving from her. Even as Alzheimer’s took hold of her, she would always tell anyone who came her way how wonderful her family was. That love was perhaps the only thing she had left in the end.

I, on the other hand, have a tendency to fall in love easily, quickly, and intensely. From almost every crush I’ve experienced in my life, something has stayed with me. I still feel something for each of them. In different ways, for different reasons, each one is still fucking amazing. It’s as though each person has their own thread sewn into my open and soft heart. Whether that is a good or bad thing is up to each person to decide, but I do find that I always miss people from my past, even just a little.

One thread at a time, I place them side by side, one on top of the other, moving information from the surroundings, from the past, from the present, from my mind, and from photographs. An individual thread, by itself, might not be much, but when there are enough of them, they eventually form an image that is something more than each single thread taken separately.

I made this exhibition about love because I think I’m better at expressing things through my art than with words. It feels like love is something that’s difficult to articulate, much like art itself. I’m no longer sure whether I made art about love or if I just made art from the love of doing art itself.

While working on the exhibition, I also felt love; for my friends, my family, my work, and for myself, and at times I strayed quite far from the original topic. There were times I felt lost and alone, times I was harsh with myself, my loved ones, and with the definition of love itself. I also discovered parts of myself that I didn’t like.

But above all, as I walked with my heart open toward the world, I felt love, and it made me happy, and at times also sad, at the same time. But it all felt important. Like most of those threads I placed carefully, I felt I was in the right place at the right time, 100% present, down to my broken fingertips.

With Love and Threads
by Jesse Avdeikov

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